Friday Moment-On a Nature Walk

A Very Long Hiatus

Ok the last time I posted in this space was oh about 6 months ago.  I meant to stop in weekly in this blog but it ended up not turning out that way.  When I initially started this blog I thought it was a good idea to document our family's homeschooling journey and I was on a good roll for a short while but then I went into a standstill blogging mode here.  I'm not sure I even know why but I have been doing some thinking since then.  I really want to get over the hump and dive into this blog there is so much to share with each other.  What's the hump?  I think documenting and reliving all the all the decisions and downfalls of being in school at the expense of my children *cringe* was not motivating.  Recipes are much eaiser to write.  Then I thought where do I want this blog to go and what I'm trying to say?  Well I then reminded myself this continues to be a journey with no outline *relief*. 
So where is my focus now?  I'm doing some cleaning up and revamping.  I went back to all my published posts and changed the names of the kids from nicknames to their initials.  The nicknames were too hard to remember and it was easier to refer to the kids stories and future posts by using their initials.  On the left side bar that's all the same favorite materials could change and the list of blogs could grow.  On the right side bar I added an FYI section.  This will be updated monthly it's a  place to share news articles and posts that stay with me after I read them and would like to share.  (Don't be surprised if you see lots of post from Teacher Tom's blog.)  The last change is in the header there is a quote that really stayed with me because it's a good reminder of what children need.
Well now that I'm back from this really long hiatus (which I hope next time won't be as long next time) I'll be diving in in to the rest of G's story.

Be Back Soon

I apologize for being away from this space for so long there is a lot of cleaning and organizing activity right now.  I'll return with a fresh post next week.
Have a good week!

G.'s Story: Part 1

Well now you know V. my third child. Are you ready for my 10 year old son "Rocker's" story G. ? His story doesn't start out as intense as Snowflake's V. but eventually gets worse. My oldest two children were in a charter school for a few years and this year is their first year homeschooling.  Before I start talking about how to get out of a charter school or any school system I'd like to share with you how the process works here in Boston to try to get into a Boston public school as well as our experience of how I got my son into a charter school.   

 Before I get into Rocker's G.'s story here is a little Boston Public backround of getting into school.
It starts off with good intentions where parents are trying to find a "good school" to put their child.   For the locals you know how the story goes around here.  For those of you who aren't from around here this is what tends to happend in Boston kind of like a given life cycle or right of passage to shool searching hell..  This begins 1 year prior to when the child is actually going to start kindergarden.  Here are the steps.  In the fall  parents do the research  scores for the Massachusetts standardaized test scores( MCAS) and school rankings.  They talk to other parents, family, friends and get any information from word of mouth.  Based on this information the parents make a list of schools they would like to see.  All schools have an open house schedule in the fall  so parents can visit.  After visiting the schools, seeing classroms, possibly meeting teachers and/or principals the parents make a list of schools to put on the application in January of where they are hoping their child will be assigned.  In January parents fill out the application.  They then collect birth certificates to prove the child will of age to attend kindergarden in the fall.  They hunt down all the bills to prove residency.  Once the paperwork is submitted the waiting begins.  The lottery of where the child goes to school is I think around the end of February or beginning of  March. You can imagine the thick air of nerves around the city. Keep in mind that getting into any school is by  lottery.  But while the waiting is going on parents may consider one of the following a private school, charter school, metco program or just  move out of city altogether.  That in a nutshell what goes here in Boston to just get into kindergarden.  Remind you of any movies lately?

Much of this information is very stressful during the process especially for a parent going through this for the first time with their first child.  Did I go through this with my first born? Yes.  I took much of the same steps made a list, went to the open houses while dragging little ones with me, looked at test scores that didn't mean anything to me.  Then went on to list the schools on the application, collected and submitted the paperwork and then waited. 

While all this was going on information about charter schools came way and I decided to look into those.  I went to a charter school fair, submitted applications and then went on to visit one of the schools.  The parent meeting was interesting now that I think back.  It was quite impressive actually.  The principal gave us information, showed us slides, statistics and graphs. I was seduced.  At the time the school's student body was only a middle school.  The plan was to add on an elementary school kindergarden and first grade.  Then as each year goes by the student body grows.  What a great idea to get in there early on.  The principal was ambitous exctited about her program.  The grooming was starting to take place all the principal needed was the children in her hands.  And in the fall they would come.  I thought ok well this school will either be successful or a flop. 

In the spring I found out that my son did not get any school assignment for the Boston Public schools.  I had put down 7 schools as my choice and he was on the wait list for our second choice.  Fortunately he did get into the charter school. I thought great now he is in.
Little did I know at the time what I was going to be in for in the next few years.  My next segment should be called "True Adventures in a Charter school"

V. : The final update

I promise this post is not as long as the other 2 parts of Snowflake's V.'s story I just wanted to share a few bits since Snowflake V. has left school 2 years ago. 

Snowflake V. is now 6 years old and continues to be homeschooled with her 4 siblings.  She still continues to go to speech and physical therapy weekly but has been  making great strides.  Loves to draw, write, paint, be outside, play with family and friends and chats up a storm.  Out of everyone in the group she still gets the least dirty and when she does she washes her hands. She has got her own opinions and can be a bit bossy.  Got to watch that.  Like I said she has been quite chatty which is an enjoyment even when this mama is tired.  I'm actually finding things out about school that we have never discussed. Yes 2 years later I find out what her life was like.  Her language has flourished and I think her most growth and improvement was her first year at home at age 5.  I always love hearing from family and friends (adult and children) "we love her and we can understand what she is saying" .  "I can understand her." is my favorite :D

She loves being homeschooled and  there is no looking back for her when it comes to school.  Phew for me! I was confident it would be fine but it's a relief to hear from her.

On the flip side my husband deals with the aftermath of all those challenging personailites.  From time to time he is the one who runs into everyone from the school department that was involved with Snowflake's V.'s evaluations, placements and meetings.  I warned him this would happen and told him to brace himself.  Well if you can it believe he was preparing for the worst and instead he gets support.  There have been a number of times he comes home that he ran into so and so and they said we are doing the right thing or the system is awful and we are doing the right thing for our family.  Most people that came into contact with Snowflake V. agree with our decision even the ones that were most challenging.  One teacher after a conversation with my husband and listening to herself came to her own conclusion and said yes homeschooling is better for our family.  Remember that therapist who said "Well she has had a taste of school." well she was much kinder to my husband and said she had a family member or friend who was homeschooled and went on to do very well in college.  Ok now is that funny or what? We still get a confused face once in a while but it's the opposing side coming on board to our side.  Go figure!  I'm just happy their open minded. 

Well I apologize if these past 2 posts were long but I really couldn't go right into why we homeschool without giving you the back story.  My intent was to give you a better understanding around our family circumstances how we got into it and why we got out.  For my two older children the story is completely different from Snowflake's V.  I hope to either shed light or offer support with our experience.

V.'s Story: Part 2

Snowflake V. is now nearing her third birthday which in school terms means she will be growing out of Early Intervention and will still be needing some services from the public schools.  There was going to be a meeting with parents, Early Intervention and members of the school department.  At this point she was receiving speech, physical therapy and occupational therapy as well as toddler group and feeding group.  I know looking back that's a pretty busy schedule for a little person. 
What was the next plan of action before the meeting?  Snowflake V. was evaluated by a variety of people (psychological, physcal therapy, speech etc.) from the school department who wrote up their reports and sent me a copy with their recommendations. With reports in hand from the school department and a team of
Early Intervention people our family was ready for battle.  I say ready for a battle because these meetings can get heated.  Early Intervention, the people who did the evaluations from the school department and the school department and coordiantor who makes the final decision were all present aand surprisingly it turned out better than we thought. The meeting went as smoothly as it could with the conclusion being that Snowflake V. would receive services for speech, physical therapy and occupational therapy for sensory issues.  She would also receive classroom placement.  Which meant she qualified for an integrated classroom.  It's a smaller class size with children who all have an Invdividualized Education Plan (IEP). 

At the time I thought great she gets classroom placement and gets all her services.  Little did I know at the time.  We looked at two classrooms, met the teachers and picked the one that best matched Snowflake V.  Snowflake V. would be in a classroom in the fall at age 3.

Yes that's right in the fall my 3 year old went  to school half day 5 days a week.  She was in a classroom with 2 teachers and 8 children all of whom she didn't know She would also be pulled out of class 3 times a week for speech, physical therapy and occupational.  I know looking back what was I thinking? I thought I was making the right decision.  My only reservation about Snowflake being away from me is that her speech was delayed.

I'm going to go off track for a minute here away from school stuff.  When I say delayed I mean unable to understand a single word that my little girl was saying.  There were only a couple of words we did understand but for the most part communication was a problem.  Her speech patterns were so inconsistent that even her siblings didn't understand her.  Usually a child has ways of communicating that older siblings know what the younger child wants but this was not the case.  We weren't the type of family that knew what she wanted before she asked or point it out and we would get it for her. There was about 3 years worth of guessing my child's language and this is how we communicated.  And what did I do?  Send her off to school.
After her first speech session the speech pathologist asked me if anyone has ever mentioned if Snowflake V. has Apraxia?  Uhm nope I would have remembered a word or diagnosis like that.  Home I went to  did to research on Apraxia.  When I read it  I learned that children who have apraxia have no problem understanding language it's their expressive language that makes it difficult for everyone around them to understand.  The brain is able to put together the thoughts and ideas what the child wants to say but when it sends the message to the mouth, jaw and toungue the syllables get mixed up which becomes with ariculation.  The explaination can be found here. I thought finally someone gets it this and it totally explains Snowflake's V.'s speech.  Of all the things she has been through this is the only diagnosis we have ever found and nothing else.  After learning this and reading what needs to be done with speech and occupational therapy I thought great she is in the right place getting the help she needs.  
As the school was progressing she was doing quite well.  Well liked by all her teachers and classmates. Going with the flow of the day and the classroom rules.  There was definite struggle with communication but everything was going smoothly till about November.  Her teacher was in car accident that left her with a hand injury unable to return to work till May.  This should have been a clue on my part to pull her out some time during the school year.  It was a rocky road of substitutue teachers changing every couple of months that by May when her teacher returned from her leave she had a classrom of angry and inconsistent children. Can you blame the kids for their behavior?  No.  Poor things are already here in school with their IEP's and services and what do they get  inconsitent and changing teachers.  I'd be angry and confused too.  I was picking up a child everyday for half the year looking exhausted.

Now you would think I would have learned something at the point but I didn't.  Looking back I cringe especially at what I did next.  At the end of the year we had another meeting with her teachers and the coordinators for the public shcool and we all agreed to continue services and classroom placement for the next school year.  Yes that's right she was going back to school in the fall at age 4. 
The next school year was more consistent for her but I was till picking up a tired 4 year old.  I thought the school was going well. She was good friends with the only other girl in the class and knew her routine. 
But this year was more of a time of observation and reflection for me.  With all the school, teachers and services how much progress was she really making? Why was she in school that long starting out at such a young age.  The most progress I have ever seen had occurred mostly in the summer.  Progress during the school year was slow sometimes challenging.  It just didn't add.up.  We understood about 25 words and a few unclear sentences. 

By this point she is 4 years old and more than half into the school year. Thoughts of school and homeschooling popped into my head.  I decided to leave all options open before making a final decision.  In January I submitted an application for placement at my older 2 kids charter school.  Ok so there was a placement for her there, but in the back of my mind I was thinking that's not a good match.  Before the end of the school year we had our annual meeting and concluded that she would continue sevices and was offered classroom placement kindergarten. 

Off  I  went to check out the classrooms and  I was not impressed.  Once again in the back of my mind I was thinking that's not a good match.  So what was a good match? I thought back to when she was much younger and always knew this child would be the one to challenge our decisions about education.  By this point I was dancing around in my head the idea of homeschooling Snowflake V.  I had conversations with my husband and a friend who homeschools her children.  Her question was "what would be so bad about having her stay home with you next year?"  I'm thinking in my head uhm nothing she would be home with me.
At this point I was fed up of therapists, teachers, outside sources and school that were interfering with my relationship with Snowflake.  She was the only child at the time that I knew the least about.  We already had communication problems.  I didn't know all her thoughts and feelings or anything about here.  From early on we got so much help that it didn't make dramatic progress.  The efforts didn't equal end results.  I thought I could have been doing more of that myself. 

The conclusion was withdraw from all classrooms for the following school year and keep only speech and physical therapy services which I would driver her to.  There were no other activities just staying home with me and her two younger siblings and getting to know her and catching up on some chats.
 
Now I had given this a lot of thought and observed quite a bit and our decision was final but not well received.  I received an outpouring show of opposition.  Here I am her mother and everyone has the nerve to question me and clearly display their lack of confidence in having Snowflake V. at home with me.  There were the looks of bewilderment and confusion.  Feelings of uneasiness from everyone else.  I was perfectly confident in being at home with my little girl.  I made the decision quickly at the very end of the year.

What didn't help is that I didn't give very much explaination about our decision.   I didn't think I needed to. Anyway whose child is this anyway?  I was  polite never rude.  To the teachers that showed geniune concern I reassured them and briefly shared my feelings.  To the ones that were short or confused well they got a very short answer.  I was especially irked by one particular therapist when she challenged me in a short moment with this "Well you know she has had a taste of school?"  I politely responded and wished her well and moved on.  Inside I was thinking oh yeah well now she needs a taste of the home life.   

After all that I thanked all that were part of Snowflakes's life for the past two years and what they meant to her.  I thanked those that were supportive and patient. I am grateful even today for some of these individuals that continue their hard work in early intervention and  the school system because they are only individuals trying their best for the children that come into their lives. To me these particular individuals don't represent the system they are in, they have their own struggles with the system.  As for me I was ready to move on with Snowflake V. at home.

Fussy internet today.

I apologized today's post about Snowflake's V.'s story will be up late late tonight.  The internet was acting up and oh yes more more snow and shovelling.

V.'s Story: Part 1

Before I begin Snowflake's V.'s story I should tell you that most of the stories in these first few posts may begin with having nothing to do with homeschooling but I felt it may help to start from the beginning to give a little background. Eventually the unrelated builds to the decision to homeschool and how there is a connection when I reflect upon these times. 

Snowflake is 6 six years old now and she is right in the middle of 2 older siblings and 2 younger siblings.  It seems like years ago that she was my baby my youngest.  Thinking back I laugh thinking I have two young children. Two fun little toddlers.  I was ready for a third I knew what I was doing.  I had the diapering down, some potty training and breastfeeding experience.  I had a handle on multiple food allergies.  It was working out with two toddlers so why not a third? I think I got overly confident in my mothering skills because little did I know what was to come.

Our family was going to be faced a number of developmental challenges.  From birth to 9 months everything was fine I had a very easygoing happy baby.  She was behind on some of the milestones but she eventually sat up and rolled over.  From 9 months to 12 months this was the start new territiory.  At the 9 month appointment there was no weight gain from the 6 month appointment.  Ok so lets make sure she gets more calories in.  At this point kids usually feed themselves where I was still feeding her  to make sure she was getting the caloric intake.  At 12 months not much weight increase from the 9 month check up.  Still a happy kid sitting there (not crawling  or pulling herself up) easily entertained by the 2 toddlers racing by or stopping by to play.  She wasn't the go getter get into everything like a baby should.  Eating fine starting to feed herself more but I was still getting in a few more scoops in.  But still to no avail by the next appointment very little to no weight gain. 

Somewhere between the 12 -14 months there was talk of Early Intervention and a meeting.  Snowflake  V. was evaluated and was approved.  At the time she needed feeding,cognition and fine motor help.  She had issues with textures.  With my first two kids I was probably the type of mom "don't get dirty"or "here let's wipe you".  Not an obsessive way I thought I was keeping my kids clean.   Well by the time Snowflake V. came along and she was too easygoing to the point of not getting dirty and don't get anything on her hands I thought uh oh.  I saw a problem no getting dirty, touching different textures or trying anything.  That's right not even playdough or paint on her little fingers.  So now I have gone from cleaning kids to internally begging my third child please get dirty or touch this pleeeeeaaaazzzzeeee.  I can't tell you how many times at craft time I would gently guide her hand to glitter , glue, paint anything.  I didn't force her but I know I'm the only mom in the room trying to make sure my child is getting dirty.  I was always a little disappointed at the end of craft time washing her clean hands. 

At this point (age 1-2 years) Early Intervention is helping us with everthing from fine motor, cognition, feeding and now physical thereapy.   We had 2 people coming to our home and she was in a toddler group and feeding group at the the Early Intervention office. By this time she was getting physical therapy because never mind that she wasn't walking she wasn't even interested in pulling herself up.  I was thinking for heavens sake why isn't this child trying climb things the couch, the chairs, scale a wall?  Please reach for anything your supposed to play with or not touch. Still nothing.  I know crazy when you think about it what mom internally begs for her child to climb and get into trouble?  This mom. 

At this time not only is she getting help from Early Intervention but there are multiple physicians involved and lots of research.  Because of the caloric intake wasn't enough and the weight gain was low our pediatrician reccomended an endocrinologist as well as a  doctor and nutritionist team that are part of a developmental program at a local hospital.  I thought great I'll be getting some help on how to manage all these delays and maybe I'll get some answers or guidance.  I thought wrong.  The endocrinologist is a specialist who studies bones and children 's growth issues.   ( I apologize if that's not the best definition of what they do.) What the endocrinologist did was take an X-ray of Snowflakes hand to see if her bone age matches her chronological age.  Many months later we took another X-ray and still no problem with growth, rickets and vitamin D.  Good one more thing to check off the list that she doesn't have but  still no explaination. 

The doctor and nutritionist team  made many recommendations and diaganosed Snowflake V. with failure to thrive.  What does that mean? I think it just means the child's not gaining weight and no one knows why.  In the bigger scheme of things it spelled out trouble with this particular doctor and nutritionist.  They were supposed to help me but instead I was looked at with a critical eye and noted and quoted in my child's medical reports.  This was not going as planned and eventually I need family back up at these appointments to validate my feelings and be on guard with me. 

Because of the poor weight gain and developmental delays other specialists (neurologists, gasterenterologists, another endocrinologist, metabolic and kidney) were consulted.  Yet again nothing no diagnosis and no answers.  The only good thing that failure to thrive is symptom of many syndromes. So looking at every syndrome we were able to check off that was not it.  Relief.   The bad news well  with some research I found that when a child is diagnosed with failure to thrive it's a sign of neglect.  Yes that's the conclustion.  I thought you got to be kidding I had better be on guard with that doctor and nutritionist.  That explains their reporting.  Hmmmm... 

Neglect?! With all the help this child is getting specialists, pediatrician, early intervention, groups, other parents we met along the way, family support all around, siblings who love and encourage her.  I thought I'd better be on guard.

By now we are somewhere between ages 2-3.  Snowflake V. is still happy easy to get along with and a delight to be around.  Slow slow progress was being made.   On a scale of development and milestones Snowflake wasn't on just the later end but over the mark of being really late. But she got to where she needed to be when ready with help. She made improvements with fine motor and cognition. Meeting with the physical therapist weekly was still a challenge because Snowflake does not like physical challenges. With the encouragemennt of 2 siblings she would work with the physical therapist and walked at 22 months.  She still goes to physical therapy today.  Weight gain was very slow progress.  She was not in any percentille because when the doctors would plot her weight at appointments and the point would be at the bottom of the graph where the numbers are. Today that is no longer an issue.  We have seen signifiicant progress with her speech mostly outside of school which I'll get to in my next post. 

By age 3 I knew many things.  First of all just when you think you know it all you don't.  The Gods of Mothering showed me this through Snowflake V. mostly.  I knew very early around age 1 or 2 that this child would make me question everything about education that may work for most people or even for my two older children but would be different for Snowflake V.  The wiring was different and there would be no explaination but she would get to where she needs to be when ready under her own determination and self challenging no outside force was going to do that.

With that being said as she  approached 3 I was making decisions for her like any parent does for a 3 year old.  I knew she did not have many syndromes or diseases and I would never find any specific answers.  I was at peace with that there was no explanation for slow weight gain and a number of developmental delays. I realized that not all doctors or nutriotinists know best.  I do because not only am I getting to know my child I am overseeing who comes in to her life.  I  thought it over and came to the conclusion that I was going to be Snowflakes V.'s manager and it was time do some hiring and firing.  The first to go were the doctor and nutritionist .I found a nutritionist that was a better match and in 1 or 2 sessions I had a better plan.  Tied up lose ends with specialists and  came to the conclusion that no follow ups were needed.  Phone numbers and information were filed.   The only people to stay on was Early Intervention,. They were helping with Snowflakes V.'s gradual progress.  Before Snowflake's third birthday we were going to have a big meeting with the public school department about services and classroom placement. 

Come back Tuesday to continue this 3 year olds journey.

Welcome to my homeschooling

Welcome to my first post on my homeschooling blog. If you are coming over from This Little Kitchen or read my profile and you are wondering why is a mom with 5 children writing 2 blogs? Well the other one is more about recipes, crafting and any other ideas currently going on. Homeschooling is part of our daily life but it just doesn't seem flow into my other blog. I didn't really know how to introduce my ideas and experiences. The two blogs that stayed with me and encouraged me to write a homeschooling blog are Flow of Love and White Oak School. I really didn't know where to begin until a couple of weeks ago when I read this post. It wasn't just the post that struck me but also the comments. I realized that while writing my comment I'm ready to talk about our homeschooling experinece.
So one Saturday afternoon I came up with a name, design and wrote down a few ideas of what I would like to write about over time. I didn't think I could handle the commintment of keeping up with it daily so I will be posting only on Tuesdays and sometimes Fridays.
Once I had the design and ideas all set I was unsure of where to begin. Do I go right into why we homeschool, what our day is like, what we do or our philosphy? To be honest when it comes to homeschooling I feel more like a rookie and the rhythm is still evolving. I gave it some more thought and decided to start right from the beginning so that my readers would have a background of how we came to the conclusion to homeschool. I thought this approach would be good way for me to reflect and document our experience and to share it in hopes of supporting other families.
The reasons for homeschooling evolved differently for each of our 5 children. With my 2 youngest it was eaiser to decide to never send them to school. My middle child was in Early Intervention and then went into the school system for 2 years before being homeschooled. My oldest 2 children went to a charter school for a few years until we withdrew them to homeschool. The journey and the stories that have elvoved are all different good and challenging. I have decided to start the story about my middle child and then move on to the other kids before I get into the homeschooling.
And who are the kids ? G. age 10, S. age 8, V. age 6 , So. age 4 and M. age 2. No those are not their real names.  These are just their first name initials
Well I hope you return on Friday when I begin Snowflake's V.'s story.