Be Back Soon

I apologize for being away from this space for so long there is a lot of cleaning and organizing activity right now.  I'll return with a fresh post next week.
Have a good week!

G.'s Story: Part 1

Well now you know V. my third child. Are you ready for my 10 year old son "Rocker's" story G. ? His story doesn't start out as intense as Snowflake's V. but eventually gets worse. My oldest two children were in a charter school for a few years and this year is their first year homeschooling.  Before I start talking about how to get out of a charter school or any school system I'd like to share with you how the process works here in Boston to try to get into a Boston public school as well as our experience of how I got my son into a charter school.   

 Before I get into Rocker's G.'s story here is a little Boston Public backround of getting into school.
It starts off with good intentions where parents are trying to find a "good school" to put their child.   For the locals you know how the story goes around here.  For those of you who aren't from around here this is what tends to happend in Boston kind of like a given life cycle or right of passage to shool searching hell..  This begins 1 year prior to when the child is actually going to start kindergarden.  Here are the steps.  In the fall  parents do the research  scores for the Massachusetts standardaized test scores( MCAS) and school rankings.  They talk to other parents, family, friends and get any information from word of mouth.  Based on this information the parents make a list of schools they would like to see.  All schools have an open house schedule in the fall  so parents can visit.  After visiting the schools, seeing classroms, possibly meeting teachers and/or principals the parents make a list of schools to put on the application in January of where they are hoping their child will be assigned.  In January parents fill out the application.  They then collect birth certificates to prove the child will of age to attend kindergarden in the fall.  They hunt down all the bills to prove residency.  Once the paperwork is submitted the waiting begins.  The lottery of where the child goes to school is I think around the end of February or beginning of  March. You can imagine the thick air of nerves around the city. Keep in mind that getting into any school is by  lottery.  But while the waiting is going on parents may consider one of the following a private school, charter school, metco program or just  move out of city altogether.  That in a nutshell what goes here in Boston to just get into kindergarden.  Remind you of any movies lately?

Much of this information is very stressful during the process especially for a parent going through this for the first time with their first child.  Did I go through this with my first born? Yes.  I took much of the same steps made a list, went to the open houses while dragging little ones with me, looked at test scores that didn't mean anything to me.  Then went on to list the schools on the application, collected and submitted the paperwork and then waited. 

While all this was going on information about charter schools came way and I decided to look into those.  I went to a charter school fair, submitted applications and then went on to visit one of the schools.  The parent meeting was interesting now that I think back.  It was quite impressive actually.  The principal gave us information, showed us slides, statistics and graphs. I was seduced.  At the time the school's student body was only a middle school.  The plan was to add on an elementary school kindergarden and first grade.  Then as each year goes by the student body grows.  What a great idea to get in there early on.  The principal was ambitous exctited about her program.  The grooming was starting to take place all the principal needed was the children in her hands.  And in the fall they would come.  I thought ok well this school will either be successful or a flop. 

In the spring I found out that my son did not get any school assignment for the Boston Public schools.  I had put down 7 schools as my choice and he was on the wait list for our second choice.  Fortunately he did get into the charter school. I thought great now he is in.
Little did I know at the time what I was going to be in for in the next few years.  My next segment should be called "True Adventures in a Charter school"

V. : The final update

I promise this post is not as long as the other 2 parts of Snowflake's V.'s story I just wanted to share a few bits since Snowflake V. has left school 2 years ago. 

Snowflake V. is now 6 years old and continues to be homeschooled with her 4 siblings.  She still continues to go to speech and physical therapy weekly but has been  making great strides.  Loves to draw, write, paint, be outside, play with family and friends and chats up a storm.  Out of everyone in the group she still gets the least dirty and when she does she washes her hands. She has got her own opinions and can be a bit bossy.  Got to watch that.  Like I said she has been quite chatty which is an enjoyment even when this mama is tired.  I'm actually finding things out about school that we have never discussed. Yes 2 years later I find out what her life was like.  Her language has flourished and I think her most growth and improvement was her first year at home at age 5.  I always love hearing from family and friends (adult and children) "we love her and we can understand what she is saying" .  "I can understand her." is my favorite :D

She loves being homeschooled and  there is no looking back for her when it comes to school.  Phew for me! I was confident it would be fine but it's a relief to hear from her.

On the flip side my husband deals with the aftermath of all those challenging personailites.  From time to time he is the one who runs into everyone from the school department that was involved with Snowflake's V.'s evaluations, placements and meetings.  I warned him this would happen and told him to brace himself.  Well if you can it believe he was preparing for the worst and instead he gets support.  There have been a number of times he comes home that he ran into so and so and they said we are doing the right thing or the system is awful and we are doing the right thing for our family.  Most people that came into contact with Snowflake V. agree with our decision even the ones that were most challenging.  One teacher after a conversation with my husband and listening to herself came to her own conclusion and said yes homeschooling is better for our family.  Remember that therapist who said "Well she has had a taste of school." well she was much kinder to my husband and said she had a family member or friend who was homeschooled and went on to do very well in college.  Ok now is that funny or what? We still get a confused face once in a while but it's the opposing side coming on board to our side.  Go figure!  I'm just happy their open minded. 

Well I apologize if these past 2 posts were long but I really couldn't go right into why we homeschool without giving you the back story.  My intent was to give you a better understanding around our family circumstances how we got into it and why we got out.  For my two older children the story is completely different from Snowflake's V.  I hope to either shed light or offer support with our experience.

V.'s Story: Part 2

Snowflake V. is now nearing her third birthday which in school terms means she will be growing out of Early Intervention and will still be needing some services from the public schools.  There was going to be a meeting with parents, Early Intervention and members of the school department.  At this point she was receiving speech, physical therapy and occupational therapy as well as toddler group and feeding group.  I know looking back that's a pretty busy schedule for a little person. 
What was the next plan of action before the meeting?  Snowflake V. was evaluated by a variety of people (psychological, physcal therapy, speech etc.) from the school department who wrote up their reports and sent me a copy with their recommendations. With reports in hand from the school department and a team of
Early Intervention people our family was ready for battle.  I say ready for a battle because these meetings can get heated.  Early Intervention, the people who did the evaluations from the school department and the school department and coordiantor who makes the final decision were all present aand surprisingly it turned out better than we thought. The meeting went as smoothly as it could with the conclusion being that Snowflake V. would receive services for speech, physical therapy and occupational therapy for sensory issues.  She would also receive classroom placement.  Which meant she qualified for an integrated classroom.  It's a smaller class size with children who all have an Invdividualized Education Plan (IEP). 

At the time I thought great she gets classroom placement and gets all her services.  Little did I know at the time.  We looked at two classrooms, met the teachers and picked the one that best matched Snowflake V.  Snowflake V. would be in a classroom in the fall at age 3.

Yes that's right in the fall my 3 year old went  to school half day 5 days a week.  She was in a classroom with 2 teachers and 8 children all of whom she didn't know She would also be pulled out of class 3 times a week for speech, physical therapy and occupational.  I know looking back what was I thinking? I thought I was making the right decision.  My only reservation about Snowflake being away from me is that her speech was delayed.

I'm going to go off track for a minute here away from school stuff.  When I say delayed I mean unable to understand a single word that my little girl was saying.  There were only a couple of words we did understand but for the most part communication was a problem.  Her speech patterns were so inconsistent that even her siblings didn't understand her.  Usually a child has ways of communicating that older siblings know what the younger child wants but this was not the case.  We weren't the type of family that knew what she wanted before she asked or point it out and we would get it for her. There was about 3 years worth of guessing my child's language and this is how we communicated.  And what did I do?  Send her off to school.
After her first speech session the speech pathologist asked me if anyone has ever mentioned if Snowflake V. has Apraxia?  Uhm nope I would have remembered a word or diagnosis like that.  Home I went to  did to research on Apraxia.  When I read it  I learned that children who have apraxia have no problem understanding language it's their expressive language that makes it difficult for everyone around them to understand.  The brain is able to put together the thoughts and ideas what the child wants to say but when it sends the message to the mouth, jaw and toungue the syllables get mixed up which becomes with ariculation.  The explaination can be found here. I thought finally someone gets it this and it totally explains Snowflake's V.'s speech.  Of all the things she has been through this is the only diagnosis we have ever found and nothing else.  After learning this and reading what needs to be done with speech and occupational therapy I thought great she is in the right place getting the help she needs.  
As the school was progressing she was doing quite well.  Well liked by all her teachers and classmates. Going with the flow of the day and the classroom rules.  There was definite struggle with communication but everything was going smoothly till about November.  Her teacher was in car accident that left her with a hand injury unable to return to work till May.  This should have been a clue on my part to pull her out some time during the school year.  It was a rocky road of substitutue teachers changing every couple of months that by May when her teacher returned from her leave she had a classrom of angry and inconsistent children. Can you blame the kids for their behavior?  No.  Poor things are already here in school with their IEP's and services and what do they get  inconsitent and changing teachers.  I'd be angry and confused too.  I was picking up a child everyday for half the year looking exhausted.

Now you would think I would have learned something at the point but I didn't.  Looking back I cringe especially at what I did next.  At the end of the year we had another meeting with her teachers and the coordinators for the public shcool and we all agreed to continue services and classroom placement for the next school year.  Yes that's right she was going back to school in the fall at age 4. 
The next school year was more consistent for her but I was till picking up a tired 4 year old.  I thought the school was going well. She was good friends with the only other girl in the class and knew her routine. 
But this year was more of a time of observation and reflection for me.  With all the school, teachers and services how much progress was she really making? Why was she in school that long starting out at such a young age.  The most progress I have ever seen had occurred mostly in the summer.  Progress during the school year was slow sometimes challenging.  It just didn't add.up.  We understood about 25 words and a few unclear sentences. 

By this point she is 4 years old and more than half into the school year. Thoughts of school and homeschooling popped into my head.  I decided to leave all options open before making a final decision.  In January I submitted an application for placement at my older 2 kids charter school.  Ok so there was a placement for her there, but in the back of my mind I was thinking that's not a good match.  Before the end of the school year we had our annual meeting and concluded that she would continue sevices and was offered classroom placement kindergarten. 

Off  I  went to check out the classrooms and  I was not impressed.  Once again in the back of my mind I was thinking that's not a good match.  So what was a good match? I thought back to when she was much younger and always knew this child would be the one to challenge our decisions about education.  By this point I was dancing around in my head the idea of homeschooling Snowflake V.  I had conversations with my husband and a friend who homeschools her children.  Her question was "what would be so bad about having her stay home with you next year?"  I'm thinking in my head uhm nothing she would be home with me.
At this point I was fed up of therapists, teachers, outside sources and school that were interfering with my relationship with Snowflake.  She was the only child at the time that I knew the least about.  We already had communication problems.  I didn't know all her thoughts and feelings or anything about here.  From early on we got so much help that it didn't make dramatic progress.  The efforts didn't equal end results.  I thought I could have been doing more of that myself. 

The conclusion was withdraw from all classrooms for the following school year and keep only speech and physical therapy services which I would driver her to.  There were no other activities just staying home with me and her two younger siblings and getting to know her and catching up on some chats.
 
Now I had given this a lot of thought and observed quite a bit and our decision was final but not well received.  I received an outpouring show of opposition.  Here I am her mother and everyone has the nerve to question me and clearly display their lack of confidence in having Snowflake V. at home with me.  There were the looks of bewilderment and confusion.  Feelings of uneasiness from everyone else.  I was perfectly confident in being at home with my little girl.  I made the decision quickly at the very end of the year.

What didn't help is that I didn't give very much explaination about our decision.   I didn't think I needed to. Anyway whose child is this anyway?  I was  polite never rude.  To the teachers that showed geniune concern I reassured them and briefly shared my feelings.  To the ones that were short or confused well they got a very short answer.  I was especially irked by one particular therapist when she challenged me in a short moment with this "Well you know she has had a taste of school?"  I politely responded and wished her well and moved on.  Inside I was thinking oh yeah well now she needs a taste of the home life.   

After all that I thanked all that were part of Snowflakes's life for the past two years and what they meant to her.  I thanked those that were supportive and patient. I am grateful even today for some of these individuals that continue their hard work in early intervention and  the school system because they are only individuals trying their best for the children that come into their lives. To me these particular individuals don't represent the system they are in, they have their own struggles with the system.  As for me I was ready to move on with Snowflake V. at home.

Fussy internet today.

I apologized today's post about Snowflake's V.'s story will be up late late tonight.  The internet was acting up and oh yes more more snow and shovelling.